this has been a long time coming! sorry. i went to seoul a month ago on a visa run, but also conveniently to visit becky. to be honest, i wasn’t expecting much at first, but i was absolutely blown away by how much i loved the city. i kept gushing about it, but finally stopped because becky was giving me funny looks. :)

it was my first time in an east asian city that wasn’t chinese. and it was surreal. it was so similar to shanghai/taipei/hong kong in some ways and yet walking the streets just felt different. it had the same vibrant, loud, modern but cluttered feel, minus the dirtiness.  streets were equally crowded but seemed more peaceful, because people were more polite and less prone to public fighting/arguing/pushing/shoving. strangely, there were more international brands and stores, but much less foreigners than what i’m used to seeing on the streets of beijing. the thing that struck me the most about walking the streets was that it just felt… freer. i can’t really explain it, but oddly there is a tangible difference in the atmosphere of a place that is, well, free. and i’ll leave it at that before the censors come after me.

and i found a new top 5 favorite food (no, i can’t have just one): ddeokbokki. especially with cheese. who would have thought?!

thank you to becky, the best hostess in the world. <3

the beautiful kyungbok palace

yummy traditional korean meal

parts of seoul remind me of hong kong

the street food is all delicious, but ddeokbokki is the best

so… this is it. getting on a plane in about 9 hours and taking off for china! i’m pretty much a nervous wreck right now so i don’t have anything intelligent to say. i don’t want to think about the journey over too much or i know i’ll just make myself more anxious. so that’s it. it’s been good, people! see you on the other side.

oh, how i miss san francisco.

{empire of the sun – walking on a dream}

been tossing and turning in bed for a little bit now, so i figured i’d flip on the light and write a little bit.

i’m going to china this fall and i’m terrified.  some days i think about how fabulous it’s gonna be journaling from some cute hutong cafe where eastern and western cultures collide.  and then nights like these i imagine myself trying to combat loneliness in a sterile apartment, the only sound accompanying me being the buzzing of fluorescent lights above. some imagination, huh?  i think of these things only because i’ve lived both sides, and it can be both wonderfully exciting and downright depressing.

i shared with a few people that i’m facing my worst fear—of being alone—by going on this trip.  people are often surprised that someone who loves to travel as much as i do would struggle with this.  i mean, i don’t think people generally love being alone all the time, but i genuinely fear it.  and no, i can’t even say that i’m doing anything as noble as trying to overcome it.  the truth is that i just deal with it because i couldn’t imagine the alternative—giving up the opportunity of a lifetime because of something so trivial.  giving up the chance at inspiration, growth, discovery, adventure… i literally have to remind myself of these things all the time, or i’d give up at everything i try.  trying new things is not my nature, but i do it in faith that one day, i won’t regret it.  it probably sounds stupid but that’s how i life my life on the edge.  it’s not really on “the edge,” but it’s still throwing myself into situations that are SUPER challenging for me.

meanwhile, i have to deal with a number of sleepless nights thinking about how i’m going to miss my lovely bed and sleeping within fifty square miles of everyone who knows and loves me best in the world.  it’s a frightening thought not having those things.