time to tell me the truth
to burden your mouth for what you say
no pieces of paper in the way
cause i cant continue pretending to choose
these opposite sides on which we fall
the loving you laters if at all
no right minds could wrong be
this many times

my memory is cruel
i’m queen of attention to detail
defending intentions if he fails
until now
he told me her name
it sounded familiar in a way
i could have sworn i’d heard him say it ten thousand times
if only i had been listening

i thought, i thought i was ready to bleed
that we’d move from the shadows on the wall
and stand in the center of it all
too late, two choices, to stay or to leave
mine was so easy to uncover
he’d already left with the other
so i’ve learned to listen
through silence

i tell myself all the words he surely meant to say
i’ll talk until the conversation doesnt stay on
wait for me, i’m almost ready
when he meant to let go

leave unsaid unspoken
eyes wide shut unopened
you and me
always between the lines
between the lines

sara bareilles.

wherever i go
whatever i do
i wonder where i am in my relationship to you

wherever you go
wherever you are
i watch your life play out in pictures from afar..

(see john mayer’s blog for his holiday baking contest)

dear john,

here’s our holiday interpretation of “slow dancing in a burning room,” complete with orange icing flames and sad-faced gingerbread people in a winter wonder-globe.  the cake is double layered devil’s food with cream cheese frosting.  we had lots of fun making it and we really really hope we make it on your blog!  this might be the beginning of our baking career. we’ll remember you when we make it big. :)

hope you enjoy & happy holidays!

love,
crystal & jane

(okay, due to a technical mishap we’re not sure if the cake ever made it to him :( because we’re SURE we would have WON if it had!!! but here it is in all its glory anyway…)

jane spreading yummy cream cheese frosting. i thought this looked very professional. :)

m&m doors

all our little gingerbread pieces!

look at the details! sad faces! blonde ringlets! orange flames on red shingles!

gumdrop lane. the globe is an inverted fishbowl with sugar sprinkled inside.

i’m pretty sure we’re awesome.

excellent movie. go see it soon.

thanks to maggie who recommended it to me :)

these days the drive home is lovely.  its twilight, and the trees have turned colors, and the road leading out from the school is a scene from a christmas movie.  there’s a house in particular i always watch out for–a red brick facade colonial style home with a sprawling front yard.  lights twinkle all around the garden.  at first i thought the house was covered in lights too, but yesterday as i drove by i realized there weren’t any at all; the warmth from inside glowed so brilliantly that it gave the impression that it was.  all that was missing was a pristine blanket of snow.

don’t get me wrong, i’m all for 300 days of sunshine, and i’m truly a california girl at heart. but once, just once, i’d like to experience waking up from my bed to the first snowfall of the season.  it just seems magical.